My Dad had just told a joke.....My favourite photo of my Dad with me and Mum!
Good morning dear Reader.....If you have been following my blogs from the beginning you will know that I love to tell jokes......I will tell a joke at the drop of a hat......I love to see people laughing......I enjoy looking around as I am telling a joke and seeing a twinkle in people's eyes knowing that I have put that twinkle there.......I love delivering the punch line and the roar that follows......It gives me great joy.......It must be an ego thing......I now find that I have a problem......Someone has stolen my jokes directly from that region in the brain that stores them!
I should have a repertoire of approximately 1000 or more jokes in there but, I am lucky to remember 10! I'm devastated! I can remember little ones like, "What's green and plays a guitar?"......I'm waiting for effect! ......."Elvis Parsley" Now 30 years ago, this joke bought forth great laughter, now it only brings a small titter and a look away from whoever I tell it to.......Another one that comes to mind is, "Why did the submarine blush?"........."Cos' it saw the Queen Mary's bottom!".......No one even knows what the "Queen Mary" was anymore......I suppose I could replace it with "the Queens Elizabeth 11's bottom." It just doesn't work at all.....Oh dear, woe is me! I am trying to remember the really good jokes that have kept me going all these years and I got nothing!
My family have been telling jokes from year dot! There was always laughter in our house and though we were not privy to the more racy jokes as kids, we were encouraged to tell corny jokes to each other and out do each other with the best joke.....I just loved it........My Dad had the most infectious laughter and he adored programs on Television like, The Three Stooges and Get Smart.....Anything slapstick would have him in stiches and we always laughed along with him....When we grew up and had a get together, you would always find my five brothers and my Dad in some corner telling rude jokes to each other and laughing their heads off.........I lapped up any jokes that were told to me and retained them in my brain and would then entertain my friends with the funny jokes that I heard....Oh! I just remembered another joke but, I can't repeat it in this blog.....Now why would I remember an unrepeatable joke? My brain is really cheesing me off now....
At parties I was always called on to tell a joke. I remember one party whereby my friend Jenny and I kept everyone entertained for over an hour with tit for tat jokes......We had a ball and everyone was crying with laughter and we felt good that we had added to the fun atmosphere at the party.....So, where the hell are all those jokes......I can remember the "Titanic" joke which I told you all on my birthday.....I can remember the "Pineapple" joke which everyone knows......Oh maybe you don't know that one........Oh okay, I will tell you....
There were 3 Italians, Mario, Alberto and Giuseppe, standing outside a brothel.....They had never been before and were discussing what would happen when they went in....They had no idea!....So Mario says, (and I am speaking to you now in my best Italian/English accent)...."I got the $20.00...I go in and see what I get!"
So Mario goes in. He is gone for about 1/2 hour.....He comes back with a big grin on his face and the others say to him, "Mario, Mario, whata happened?"
Mario says, "Oh Oh Oh,...I go in, beautiful naked girl take my money, take me into a room, she putta two pineapple rings ona my ol" fella and she eata them off....It was lovely."
So the other two look at each with glee and Alberto says, " Well, I got the $40.00...I go in and see what I get!"
Alberto is gone for about 3/4 hour and comes back with a huge grin on his face and twinkling eyes....
The others ask him, "Alberto, Alberto, whata happened?"
"Well, you were right Mario, beautiful naked girl take my money, take me into the bedroom, she putta four pineapple rings ona my ol' fella and she eata them off.....It was lovely."
So by now, Giuseppe is chomping at the bit to have his turn, so he boastfully says,"Well, I got the $60.00, so I go in and I see what I get."
He is gone for an hour and when he comes back he looks devastated.....The others run to him and ask him what happened....
Giuseppe says, "Well, you guys, you right! Beautifully, naked girl, take my money, take me into the room, she putta six pineapple rings on my ol' fella and she topped it with whipped cream and a cherry!"
Mario and Alberto looked at him in anticipation of what was to come....."Go on, go on," they said.
Giuseppe lowered his head and almost crying he said, "Well, it looka so good.......I ate it myself!"
Naughty hey! Very old, but very good.....I just can't keep telling the same old jokes though.....So you see, I am very upset that I can't find the rest of the jokes in the deep dark recesses of my brain......I tell you, it's terrible to be getting old......I shall have to have some help to find the rest of my jokes.......or maybe, just maybe, I could buy a book of jokes and learn some more......
Hi, At 59 I am just finding my feet in the world...So exciting! I have learnt a lot over the years.....gone from being extremely hard up to living a very comfortable life and loving every single minute of it.......My boys are grown up and living good lives themselves and I am so proud of them.......I have the best husband in the world (most of the time anyway....hahaha) and I have 3 dogs who I just adore and they adore me...... I try to live by my motto ......"Be like the sun....let your warmth shine through always"