Good morning dear Reader.....You are probably wondering about the title of this blog and the picture.....It's very simple really.....I have been wondering why I got all the defects when I was born and my siblings came through relatively unscathed! Why did I get the gynaecological problems, the clumsiness, the chocoholism, the alcoholism? Why is my memory so challenged? Why am I insane?
Last night I had an epiphany! I know why! It's all to do with the fact that I am first born.......The sperm that helped create me was a complete novice.....Never done it before and so wasn't refined.....The little egg that he favoured and won over was also a complete novice......It's so easy when you realise! There was no one to guide them......They had all the defective genes like clumsiness, drunkenness and insanity in abundance because they were the first to experience "the act". I guess you have to wonder what it would be like to be just swimming along minding your own business with about a billion other sperm and all of a sudden you are shot out of a cannon and into a dark foreign place full of cute little eggs. It must have been a terrible shock for the little sperm and is it any wonder that he got confused and forgot to hold back some of the flawed genes mentioned above for another time......
It explains a lot actually......By the time the last of my siblings were born, 14 years later, the Sperm Leader, yes, I believe that there is one, had lectured his troops on what would likely to happen during an event. He would have instructed them to abandon as many of the defective genes as possible before the event......I would say that the same thing went on in the Ovaries as well......The Ovarian Leader gave her ova a little pep talk on what would be likely to happen in the event of cannon fire! She would have explained that they needed to be strong and to get rid of any unwanted genes that were lurking in the deep, dark recesses of their ova so that the humans they would be producing were the best and strongest......So by the time they got to my baby brother they had learned their lessons well.......
Pity my sperm and egg hadn't had the benefit of the lectures from their fearless leaders..... I would've been a different person......I wouldn't have run into doors or walls.....I wouldn't have had countless operations on my womanly bits......My memory would be great......I would be able to remember appointments and everything else without having to write it down........I would never suffer from Restless Bum Syndrome and I wouldn't drink so much...well, I actually don't mind that one......Maybe I wouldn't be a chocoholic and worry about exercising all the time to control my weight.........I wouldn't be insane! Actually now I think about it as I type.....I am not really sorry that I am insane.....At least it makes my life interesting!
Hi, At 59 I am just finding my feet in the world...So exciting! I have learnt a lot over the years.....gone from being extremely hard up to living a very comfortable life and loving every single minute of it.......My boys are grown up and living good lives themselves and I am so proud of them.......I have the best husband in the world (most of the time anyway....hahaha) and I have 3 dogs who I just adore and they adore me...... I try to live by my motto ......"Be like the sun....let your warmth shine through always"