Oh dear Reader, I have a confession to make.....I feel nothing but shame but, I need to tell someone because it's eating me up inside.....I haven't been able to tell anyone my secret because it's so awful and if the subject is broached in conversation with my family and friends I lie through my teeth and say that I don't worry about it!
Yes, dear Reader I am a chocoholic! I know, it's just dreadful... Please don't judge me too harshly, I feel so very ashamed of myself. I was doing fine until Valentines Day.....I had it under control, for the most part, then my beloved bought me two boxes of Maltesers for Valentines......Not one, oh no, one just wouldn't have done it! No...he bought two! Bloody Hell.....they are 360 gram boxes......Do you realise how many Maltesers that is! It's at least 3 kilos on my already growing hips! What was he thinking? He knows I have a serious addiction! As soon as I unwrapped my present that morning and saw what it was, my little brain, or at least the additive cells in my brain, went into overdrive......Can I eat them all now? It's only 7 am, but will anyone know if I do? Yes, my husband will know and he will be disgusted with me......So I plotted and planned.....I put them in the cupboard pretending to be super cool, calm and collected when inside I was churning and yearning and craving.....
Oh dear Reader, it's a dreadful thing to befall a grown woman going past her prime....Thursday evening came and I was very proud of myself that I hadn't opened either of the boxes. I made a lovely, healthy dinner and we sat down with our evening cuppa and it got to me.....I suggested that it would be nice if we had a chocolate to go with our cuppa....My husband, poor unsuspecting fool, didn't pick up that my hand was shaking in anticipation and I was chomping at the bit to get at those Maltesers......
I opened one of the boxes...The sound of the cellophane wrapping coming off was in itself joy! The box was opened.....I lifted the lid and the wonderful, delicious smell of chocolate rose from the box and assaulted my senses.....I was in heaven and I hadn't even tasted the Maltesers yet! I should have left it at that.....I should not have put any in my mouth....I did though, about 3 at once.....Oh my, the crisp balls of light honeycomb burst in my mouth, alighting my senses even more and the wonderful milk chocolate just melted in my mouth....It was almost orgasmic!
My husband didn't see me go to the cupboard about 10 times and demolish over half of the Maltesers.....I felt sick! I went to bed feeling guilty and sick! Serves myself right...I thought... I won't do it again......I didn't touch them on Friday until the evening came again......After dinner I made myself a cup of tea and I just had to have more Maltesers with it......By the time I had finished there weren't many left.....Again, I felt so much shame.......I realised that my problem was indeed serious and was even worse than my worry with "the demon drink!" What was I to do?
Saturday came and we went about our business as usual and in the late afternoon my husband suggested that we watch a movie......Cool I thought.....Just as I settled down in my recliner chair my husband asked for a Malteser! Oh! Oh!....I got the box and gave it to him.....I told him that I had gone a bit mad and there may not be many left......There were three! Only three! Isn't that sick dear Reader......Out of 360 grams, which would be roughly 100 Maltesers, I had eaten 97! My husband looked at me but didn't say a word....Bless him! He just looked at me sadly, which made me feel more guilty.........
So I went and opened the other box! I am truly in need of psychiatric care! I shoved as many in my mouth as I possibly could.......My husband asked me a question and I wasn't able to answer him as my gob was chock-a-block full of those lovely little chocolate balls with chocolate dribbling out of the side of my mouth........He just looked away again! Poor bugger! He doesn't know how to handle this horrible me! This problem is going to be the death of me.....I am grotesque! I am weak! I am totally addictive! I definitely need help! Does anyone know how to beat this thing? I guess the best thing is not to buy any chocolate ever again! Oh the thought! No! There must be another solution....I will ponder on it for a while and let you know if I come up with anything.....Meanwhile, I will just keep feeling ashamed!
Hi, At 59 I am just finding my feet in the world...So exciting! I have learnt a lot over the years.....gone from being extremely hard up to living a very comfortable life and loving every single minute of it.......My boys are grown up and living good lives themselves and I am so proud of them.......I have the best husband in the world (most of the time anyway....hahaha) and I have 3 dogs who I just adore and they adore me...... I try to live by my motto ......"Be like the sun....let your warmth shine through always"