Good morning dear Reader......I have had a terrible night......I awoke at 1 am and I knew I was in trouble.......I went to bed early, went to sleep straight away, so was very surprised when I woke....
I tried tossing and turning but, I just had to get out of bed.....You've heard of Restless Legs, well, I had Restless Bum....Don't laugh! It's not funny! It bloody well hurt!
I got the following definition from Wikipedia :- "Restless legs syndrome (RLS) is a neurological disorder characterized by an irresistible urge to move one's body to stop uncomfortable or odd sensations. It most commonly affects the legs, but can affect the arms, torso, and even phantom limbs. Moving the affected body part modulates the sensations, providing temporary relief."
The neurological bit worries my somewhat just quietly, because it's not in my head, it's in my bum!
The ache was the same as in Restless Leg Syndrome so I don't know what else to call it. All I can come up with is Restless Bum Syndrome......It hurt to lie in bed......It hurt to sit down.....It even hurt just standing up and walking around.......So, I came up with a plan......I had to massage my butt cheeks.........If I could massage my bum it may improve the aching........Have you ever massaged your own bum? It's not easy! I carefully snuck out of the bedroom, so the puppies wouldn't wake, nor my husband for that matter....Once in the lounge area I grabbed my one of my butt cheeks with both hands and tried to massage it......Completely unsatisfactory and all I achieved was shooting spasms in my back from bending backwards.......
I tried massaging each butt cheek using one hand on each but, again, it just didn't cut it! I had to come up with another plan. I figured if I squatted down I would be able to pass one arm though my legs and grab my butt cheek and it would be more comfortable and easier to massage as the distance my arms had to reach would be shorter......All very well in theory!......There I was, squatting down on the lounge room floor, my left hand trying to massage my butt cheek while my right hand was in between my legs attempting to do the same......I knew that I looked ridiculous! I felt ridiculous! I was desperate dear Reader.....the ache was so bad....It didn't work!
I thought about waking up my husband. I didn't! I played the conversation we would have in my head.....Can you imagine?
"Honey wake up!" I would say....
"Why..What's wrong?" he would ask jumping up in bed with a fearful look on his face. (I would see this because it is a full moon)
"I have Restless Bum Syndrome and I need a bum massage!" I would reply....
"Are you serious?" he would say, "You woke me up for a bum massage? It's 1 am in the morning! Go back to sleep!"
Then I would have been mad at him for a couple of days for not helping me. It just wasn't worth it........
I ended up taking two Ibuprofen tablets and I eventually got to sleep at about 4 am.....Not a good night!
Hi, At 59 I am just finding my feet in the world...So exciting! I have learnt a lot over the years.....gone from being extremely hard up to living a very comfortable life and loving every single minute of it.......My boys are grown up and living good lives themselves and I am so proud of them.......I have the best husband in the world (most of the time anyway....hahaha) and I have 3 dogs who I just adore and they adore me...... I try to live by my motto ......"Be like the sun....let your warmth shine through always"