Good Morning dear Readers......Have you ever left the house wearing an outfit that could only be described as "Nooooooooooooooo?". After the weekend I am left wondering if some people own mirrors! My husband and I went to one of the large shopping centres on the Gold Coast on Saturday and I was struck by the large number of people who obviously don't own one....
First case:- Extraordinarily, larger than average woman.....She could have been attractive if she hadn't been wearing a singlet, that bit into her so hard, that her flesh looked like it was trying to escape the restriction imposed upon it.....to make matters worse it was flesh coloured so blended in rather well and it was really hard to tell which was flesh and which was singlet..........The only other article of clothing on this woman was a grey leotard with stitching which was being challenged dramatically to stay intact, bludging and folding over and over again like a Danish pastry......On her feet she wore a lovely pair of pink thongs.......Her lank, dull, mousey brown hair just hung thinly down her back.......Now I know that I am probably going to get into trouble, but, really! She looked ridiculous! People, being the nasty animals that we are, were looking and laughing at her......Me personally..........my eyeballs are scared for life!
They should invent mirrors that talk, especially for people with no taste. If you put on something that doesn't suit you, the mirror will tell you....."No that just won't work my dear!" or "You are not going out of the house in THAT, are you?" It would be great because it would not only save embarrassment for these people but, it would also save people's eyesight and would definitely stop pointing and ridiculing in the street. I don't mean just larger than average people either!
Second case:- Extraordinarily smaller than average elderly woman.....I don't think she could ever have been attractive considering that she looked like she baked herself on a sunbed for hours at a time whilst consuming the equivalent of Russia's yearly consumption of vodka every day. Baked leathery skin is not a good look! She also was wearing a leotard! The difference here was that, because she was just a bag of bones, she had absolutely no arse, so the material hung down at the back as if she had sharted! Not good.....When she turned around, I almost had to run into the bathroom and wash my eyes out! She had the worse camel's toe I have ever seen.....Her teased, bottle black, hair looked like she had poked her fingers into the electric socket! ........Oh my god! To top it off, she had beautiful, reddest of red lipsticks on......Gross! Don't these people look in the mirror before they leave the house!
Okay dear Readers, you may be thinking that I am being nasty and judging these people too harshly, but you weren't there! I tell you, I will never be the same......I have made many fashion poobahs in my lifetime and will probably make many more, but, holy smackers, I am not about to walk out of the house looking like something from a "Z' grade horror film......I am no oil painting myself, but I would never, ever, throw a pair of tights and a singlet on and go out of the house! I am aware that I have lumps and bumps and especially if you wear tights, unless you work out 8 hours a day, or you are 16, cellulite is lurking around on every one of those lumps and bumps and shows up distinctly through tights......Actually, I don't have cellulite, I have quilting! Shake me out and throw me on a bed......but that's another story!
So, I put it out there....you clever, clever, inventor type people....come on, invent a mirror that can tell these people if they going to offend their fellow humans when they leave their homes in horrible, eye blinding, brain scaring outfits.....Surely it can be done....if dogs can drive cars, mirrors can talk!
Hi, At 59 I am just finding my feet in the world...So exciting! I have learnt a lot over the years.....gone from being extremely hard up to living a very comfortable life and loving every single minute of it.......My boys are grown up and living good lives themselves and I am so proud of them.......I have the best husband in the world (most of the time anyway....hahaha) and I have 3 dogs who I just adore and they adore me...... I try to live by my motto ......"Be like the sun....let your warmth shine through always"